I thought I would drop off these affirmations because, to be honest, I need them right now. I needed them two years ago and three years ago and five years ago. I needed them at 17, at 13, at 9. I can look back at every age and see the girl I was, trying to carry more than she should have, trying to push away feelings that felt too heavy for her hands.
As someone who fell deep into the Law of Attraction during COVID, I know what it feels like to carry thoughts that are heavier than they should be. TBH, I always had the early shape of OCD inside me, but those teachings helped me put language and ritual to it. They told me that everything in my life, the beautiful parts and the painful parts, came from my mind. They insisted that every emotion was a cause and every outcome a reflection. It made me ashamed of feelings that were simply human. It made me wonder if the hard things in my life were things I had somehow created.
And, sometimes, I still slip into that place.
A loved one going through a rough patch.
Another almost. Another rejection.
A moment where life bends in a direction I did not choose.
Something in me whispers, what if this is my fault. What if there is another version of me somewhere who chose differently and avoided all this. What if everything would be easier if I had been better or braver or more certain at the right time.
I know none of that is real, but the feeling still rises.
And for Black women, that feeling carries its own history. Many of us were raised to be the strong one. The steady one. The girl who holds the world together and rarely lets it show when she is tired. We are expected to shine with confidence, to know what to say, to care for every person in the room. We are expected to hold what our families cannot, and sometimes what our communities cannot. So when someone we love is struggling, saying this is not my responsibility does not always feel true. It feels like we are abandoning our role.
When the outcome is not what we hoped for, the blame turns inward. Not because it belongs there, but because we were raised in a world where Black women are expected to silently keep everything standing.
This blog post is my attempt to speak gently to that part of me. The part that tries so hard to get everything right. The part that carries guilt it never earned. The part that wants hope and softness and a future that feels possible. If any of this lives in you too, these words are for you, too.
I know this is counter to how so many traditions talk about belief, but idk. I don’t think belief is a binary. Or that one can ever fully believe something without the pinpricks of doubt. Or that you need to for said belief to hold power. I don’t think belief can be forced. And yet we try, and there is something worthwhile in that. Sometimes I think there’s more meaning, more power, in what we want to believe. Where we choose to throw our weight. Wanting to believe something says almost as much as believing. I offer these affirmations to myself because something inside me is learning to trust them.
1. There are possibilities I cannot see yet, and I do not have to force them to exist.
Life has surprised me before. It can surprise me again. I do not need to bend myself into exhaustion for good things to happen.
2. The world is bigger than me. The world is not blaming me.
I am allowed to release the weight of things I never caused. I can let life be life without taking blame for every storm.
3. I cannot control everything, but I am not powerless in my own life.
My power is not in magic. My power is in the ways I show up for my days and for myself. I have influence over my corner of the world, and that is enough.
4. I did not ruin anything. I did not miss my one chance.
There is no perfect timeline. There is only the path I am on, and it still has space for love and joy and moments that belong to me.
5. I can move slowly. I can move gently. The future will not disappear if I rest.
I am not falling behind. I am growing at the pace I need.
6. My needs are not a burden. My softness is not too much.
I am allowed to want comfort. I am allowed to ask for reassurance. I am allowed to be held.
7. I can believe in something good without blaming myself when life is hard.
Hope does not require fear. Faith does not require punishment. I am allowed to trust in good things without carrying the weight of everything that hurts.
8. Even in a chaotic world, I can choose to stay open.
Not wide open. Just open enough to let something gentle reach me. I can stay open to connection and possibility without losing myself.
9. I am allowed to be scared.
My fear does not cancel my hope. My hope does not erase my fear. They can sit beside each other.
10. This chapter is not the entire story
There are people I have not met yet who will love me. There are opportunities waiting for the right moment. There are versions of me I have not grown into. There are joys that have not touched me yet. My story is still unfolding.
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